Sunday, May 31, 2009

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Susan Boyle History:

LONDON — A 47-year-old Scottish charity volunteer has become an unlikely international media sensation after a stunning talent show performance, amid reports she is set to cash in with a quick record deal.


By Thursday, a video clip of Susan Boyle's singing debut on the Britain's Got Talent television show last weekend had over 12 million views on YouTube, with the number rising fast.


U.S. actress Demi Moore was apparently moved to tears by the clip, while the story has been picked up around the world, with U.S., Australian and other broadcasters reportedly queuing up for interviews.


"Susan has clearly wowed the audience, the judges and the world with a truly fantastic performance," said Tom Kerr, leader of West Lothian council in Scotland where Boyle lives with her cat Pebbles.


The West Lothian Courier, her local paper, added that she was "doing what the Beatles did in the '60s" — that is, taking the United States by storm.


And, while press coverage in Britain was relatively muted, media in the United States are lapping up the story.


Global news channel CNN said it had been flooded with messages about Boyle.

The San Francisco Chronicle, under the headline "Just who is the singer Susan Boyle?" noted that "Unless you live under a rock, you know about the Scottish woman who has taken the industrialized world by storm."


"U.K. talent show stunned by Scottish virgin Susan Boyle," ran Australia's Herald Sun newspaper.

In Britain coverage was less frenetic — perhaps because Britain's Got Talent airs on private broadcaster ITV and so the story was not highlighted by rival channels.


In the clip, the down-to-earth Boyle walked on stage, saying she dreamed of emulating West End star Elaine Page.

When she began to sing, the panel of three judges led by music guru Simon Cowell appeared visibly taken aback, and the audience in Glasgow rose to its feet as her voiced soared through "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables.



Cowell was already lining up a record deal for her, Britain's Press Association reported, while versions of the song she sang entered the midweek singles chart here and the iTunes chart.

U.S. actress Moore posted the comment "It made me teary" on her Twitter page, after viewing the clip.

When told about Moore's reaction, Boyle told reporters outside her home Thursday: "That's overwhelming. That's something else."

But she appeared unfazed, saying: "I just take it all in my stride, I'm enjoying it."

Boyle's success — she is now favoured to win the British talent show — has drawn comparisons with Paul Potts, an opera-singing mobile phone salesman who won in 2007. Potts went on to have number one albums in 15 countries.








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Saturday, May 23, 2009

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Movie Review:

Night at the Museum Battle of the Smithsonian

Director : Shawn Levy

Release Date : 22 May 2009

Genre : Action

Cast : Ben Stiller, Amy Adams, Hank Azaria, Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan..


Way back in 2006 I gave the original Night at the Museum a B-, a nice grade given the film was made for people under double digits. I'm saddened to report that this version isn't quite as good as the original, but it's not wholly bad either. I'd call it a little above average and recommend it to families looking for an innocent summer escape. To recap: Date night? No. Kid's day? Sure.


Ben Stiller is back, reprising his role as Larry the night watchman -- only he's left that job way behind, launching himself into an inventor-mogul sort of career path. The film gives Ed Helms (The Daily Show, The Office) a little cameo on that front, but the whole subplot is, in the grand tradition of all children's films, pretty pointless. Still, there are solid cameos all the way around; a whole mess of actors contribute five good minutes. Jonah Hill does credible work in one scene as a Smithsonian guard while Christopher Guest puts a new spin on Ivan the Terrible. Hank Azaria is great (as per normal) in a beefier role as the foil, former Egyptian Pharaoh wannabe Kah Mun Rah.


Now then, the premise of the film, for those of you who skipped the first one and don't have access to trailers. Larry Daley, with the help of an Egyptian tablet, watches the museum exhibits come to life on a nightly basis ... we'll call that the first film. In this version he's been neglectful of his recently animated friends, and they're all shipped off to the Smithsonian archives. Larry needs to bust in, rescue them, and you can guess where it goes from there. Amy Adams throws down as female lead Amelia Earhart, though to the film's credit it doesn't push the "love interest" angle too hard. (Random aside: Is there a more likable person than Amy Adams in Hollywood? When she comes on screen it's difficult not to love her. She's like human ice cream on a sunny day.)


What doesn't work here is the overall logic. It's missing a lot of it. Character motivations are obviously far more comedy-based than common sense-based; I don't begrudge the film this, but it does make it tougher for the adult audience to find connection. Still, the effects work is seamless and I did get a few chuckles out of the banter. That's a decent haul for a film with little ambition, right?


Thus, this is just about what you thought it was -- a solid escape for young minds, a passable time for adult thinkers. A harmless summer comedy, neither offensive nor amazing, neither worth proselytizing or bickering about.




















Sunday, May 17, 2009

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Movie Review:

Genre :Romance, Comedy

Release Date :April 24, 2009 (Limited)

MPAA Rating :R

Director :Brian Herzlinger

Starring :Heather Graham, John Corbett, Jerry O'Connell, Lara Flynn Boyle, Katie Finneran, Ian

Ziering...


Carol Kane plays the wife of a murdered Mafia bookkeeper in Baby on Board. With her baby in tow, Kane tracks the hitman to the airport, intending to shoot the man. A pickpocket causes the gun to discharge prematurely, and now it's Kane who is being pursued. She commandeers a cab driven by Judge Reinhold, and the chase is on. As light as a feather, Baby on Board gets plenty of laughs from the basic situation as well as the fevered rapport between Kane and Reinhold. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide...






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Movie Review:

Directed by: Douglas Barr

Released: January 31, 2009

Cast : Genie Francis, Katie Boland, John Bregar, Genelle Williams, Christopher Cordell, Maria

Ricossa, Joanna Douglas, George Tchortov...

Taking a Chance on Love

Chad Connell, Genelle Williams, Genie Francis


Peyton MacGruder (Genie Francis) is still learning how to be a parent after reuniting with Christine (Katie Boland), the daughter she gave up for adoption 18 years earlier. She’s also trying to manage...( read more read more... ) her new relationship with King Danville (Ted McGinley), but things get even more complicated when he asks her to marry him. Peyton is hesitant to take a chance at the happiness she deserves, but a note from a reader of her "Heart Healer" column leads to a new friendship that will teach her there’s a time to be cautious and a time to follow your heart.





Saturday, May 16, 2009

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Movie Review:

Director:Roland Emmerich

Writers (WGA):

Roland Emmerich (written by) &

Harald Kloser (written by)

Release Date:13 November 2009 (USA)

Genre:Action | Drama | Sci-Fi | Thriller

Tagline:Find out the truth...if you dare.







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Starring: Tom Hanks, Ayelet Zurer, Ewan McGregor, Stellan Skarsgård, David Pasquesi, osimo

Fusco, Ursula Brooks, Armin Mueller-Stahl

Directed by: Ron Howard

Release Date: May 15, 2009.

This weekend, as Angels and Demons hits theatres, we will again be treated to Tom Hanks as the intrepid Dr. Robert Langdon as he sleuths his way across and through the dark and dangerous hidden roads of Rome. In this chapter, the ghosts of past nerds return to wreck havoc on the religious types in the Catholic Church. A nerd does not forget.


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Thursday, May 14, 2009

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Movie Review:

Director : Tennyson Bardwell

Genre : Horror

Cast : Tim Daly, Tom Arnold, Zoe Saldana, Andrea Roth, Edward Herrmann, Robert Prosky,

Bruce Altman, Christina Rouner, Lea Coco, James DiSalvatore, Sara Weaver, Steve Fletcher..

While horror movies have become tedious fare, relying on outworn conventional templates and recycled gotcha scare tactics, The Skeptic aims to keep viewers on their toes, as well as at the edge of their seats. A turbulent brainteaser blend of the supernatural and psychotic, with mystery novel elements tossed in too, the film playfully refuses to satisfy audience cravings these days for fast food narrative closure, and instead relies on the more traditional classic suspense that masterfully intrigues and eludes.


Tim Daly is Bryan Becket in The Skeptic, a sarcastic, emotionally atrophied upscale lawyer whose marriage is falling apart due to his intimacy issues. When Becket receives a call that his estranged elderly aunt has passed away, he seizes the opportunity to go live in the sprawling Victorian mansion for a time while arranging for the future of the estate, in order to distance himself from his unraveling marriage.


But what is as yet unknown to this supremely confident, studiously concrete thinker, is that the house may harbor long buried traumatic memories that he experienced there as a boy, when his mother died under mysterious circumstances. Also compounding these multiplying horrors, though not without some unresolved narrative threads, is an elegant but seemingly sinister abode that appears to be haunted one moment, and a frightening series of hallucinations experienced by Becket the next.


Written and directed by Tennyson Bardwell, The Skeptic is a very different kind of housing nightmare in this age of mass foreclosures, but one that likely embodies some of those reality based, subconscious seized shelter possession, or rather possessed, fears and phobias. In any case, the film stylishly teases and provokes with its power of suggestion, hide and seek tendencies, not just of apparitions that may not be apparitions at all, but a constantly shifting dynamic between the logical, psychic and psychological.


Turning up the tensions surrounding this spooky talking mansion, is Zoe Saldana as an unhinged telepathic ghostbuster making unwelcome house calls, and just as spaced out here, so to speak, as in her simultaneous big screen turn in Star Trek. Along with thespian vet Ed Hermann as a less than forthcoming evasive shrink, and Tom Arnold as the never disappointing, comical when not creepy legal colleague, with a few freaky possession issues of his own.




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Movie Review:

Release Date:2009

Run Time:150 minutes

Rating:Unrated - Not submitted for MPAA review

Genres:Drama , Foreign , Period Pieces , Romance , Social Issues
Subgenres:Adoption & Orphans, Foreign: British, Tragedy, Romantic Drama, Period Piece: 19th Century, Marriage Hell


Starring:Thomas (Tom) Hardy, Burn Gorman, Andrew Lincoln, Rebecca Night, Tom Payne, Sarah Lancashire, Charlotte Riley, Rosalind Halstead..


Director:Coky Giedroyc...


Umpteenth version of the Emily Bronte tragedy is well-staged but an intense Hardy isn't well-matched by petulant newcomer Riley. Heathcliff (Hardy) is a poor Gypsy boy adopted into the Earnshaw family where he and Cathy (Riley) find they are soulmates. Unfortunately, Cathy chooses to marry proper aristocrat Edgar Linton (Lincoln) and a furious Heathcliff, who has made his own fortune, decides on a spiteful revenge.


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Movie Review:

The Horsemen (2009)

Theatre Release: March 13, 2009

Genre: Thriller, Crime,

MPAA Rating: (NR) Studio: Lionsgate

Cast: Dennis Quaid, Zhang Ziyi, Clifton Collins Jr., Peter Stormare, Barry Shabaka Henley...


A hardened cop discovers a shocking connection with the prime suspect in a serial killing spree linked to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse...



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Movie Review:

Director : Gregory Mandry

Release Date : 2009

Genre : Comedy, Horror

Cast : Hiram Bleetman, Carrie Cohen, Nigel Croft-Adams, Sara Dylan, Gary Faulkner, Rachel

Mitchem, Oliver Squires, Julia Vandoorne, Jennifer Wren....





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Movie Review:

Director : Thomas Jahn

Release Date : 2009

Genre : Action

Cast : Kelly Adams, Joshua Dallas, Henry Garrett, Stacy Keach, Leslie Malton, O'Shea Miles...




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Movie Review:

Director : Jack Perez

Release Date : 19 May 2009

Genre : Action

Cast : Lorenzo Lamas, Deborah Gibson, Sean Lawlor, Stephen Blackehart, Dean Kreyling,

Jonathan Nation, Vic Chao, Mark Hengst, Russ Kingston, Dustin Harnish...


Note: This is another “Points Gained” review… I haven’t done one of these in ages.

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus… The title alone should indicate that this is a shitty movie. Fuck, the cover alone should indicate that this is a shitty movie
. Yet, somehow, the shittiness intrigued me enough to check it out so I can see how shitty it actually was. But then the movie started and the first words to appear on the screen were… “The Asylum Presents”…. Right then and there I should have turned off the movie, but for some reason, I just couldn’t bring myself to turning the movie off. It was like I was reliving the day I experienced Troll 2 for the first time. The power of its shittiness hypnotized me so much that I watched this movie from beginning to end; and because of that, I’m giving you this review so that I can taint your souls as well.


I’m not even sure how I should explain the plot to this movie. I mean, the movie is clearly about a Mega Shark (a Megalodon to be more specific) vs. a Giant Octopus. So, that’s what you can expect… all ten minutes of them fighting. The other 80 minutes of the movie goes like this: Debbie Gibson plays a rebellious scientist named Emma. One day, after stealing the submarine from the company she works for, Emma decides to go chill with some whales. The whales are disturbed by some low frequency thing that was dropped by a helicopter pilot, they go ape shit and start ramming a near by glacier. They do so much damage that they end up release two massive creatures… our Mega Shark and Giant Octopus. Instead of continuing their fight, the two go their separate ways… the Mega Shark to San Francisco and the Giant Octopus to Japan. After the Octopus attacks an oil rig and, get this, the Shark eats a 747… yes, the shark literally flies into the air and attacks a 747… Lorenzo Lamas appears and tells Debbie Gibson and her pals to come up with a way to capture or kill these creatures. Oh, yeah and the shark manages to eat a portion of the Golden Gate Bridge. I’m going to leave the synopsis at that.


Since this movie comes from the guys over at The Asylum, you know it’s bound to be shit. The story, the acting, the directing and even the CGI is terrible… but it’s so fucking hilarious. There is shit in this movie that makes absolutely no sense. For example, The 747 that the shark rips out of the sky, looks like it dwarfs the shark, but then the shark eats a section of the Golden Gate Bridge and the shark is monstrous in size. One let down for the movie is the fact that the Giant Octopus doesn’t really do anything in this movie. There are more scenes with the shark than there are with the octopus. It’s almost as if the guys over at the Asylum almost forgot that there was another creature in the movie until the battle between the two at the end of the movie.


Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is a terrible movie, but you have to give it to the guys over at The Asylum. They know that they aren’t going to have a large budget so end up making knock-off movies of blockbusters on a small budget. These movies end up being so bad that they are hilarious to watch… even though no one out there will openly admit that they own or have ever seen a movie The Asylum has made.


Final Synopsis: It’s a terrible movie; only check it out if you love terrible movies or are in need of seeing something hilariously bad.


Points Gained: +1 for putting some effort into making the movie, +1 for being hilariously bad, +1 for the CGI provider being named Tiny Juggernaut.


Lesson Learned: If you can’t come up with an answer for your problems, go fuck someone and the answer will magically come to you.


Burning Question: What movie is this ripping off?


Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus



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Movie Review:

Director : Patrick Healy

Genre : Comedy

Cast : Rini Bell, Kansas Carradine, Tom Carver, Gary Cervantes, Damián Delgado, Danny Del

Toro, Pablo Espinosa, Bruno Gioiello, Bernie Martinez, Xhercis Mendez, Kenny Morrison...




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Movie Review:

Director : David Mitchell

Cast : Tom Green, Dave England, Jason Bothe, Carlo Marks, Amber Borycki, Alain Chanoine,

Shane Meier, Juan Riedinger, Kyle Labine, Pascale Hutton, Lindsay Maxwell..


Revenge of the Boarding School Dropouts (2009) - After successfully turning their snowboarding team into one of the hottest on the slopes, Max and Eddy are riding high. But sometimes success, and the wild parties and money that come with it, can blind people to the little things that got them to where they are. With everything on the line, the guys must overcome the slacker temptation to quit and fight to save their team and win back the mountain.


Sunday, May 10, 2009

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Movie Review:

Up 56% in popularity this week. See rank & trends
Director:Tamara Olson

Writer:Naomi L. Selfman (written by)

Contact:View company contact information for 18 Year Old Virgin

Release Date:20 January 2009 (USA)

Genre:Comedy

Tagline:Will Katie Give it Up or Give Up?

Plot Keywords:Spoof Title | Teen Comedy | Dominatrix | Pubic Hair | Female Full Frontal Nudity

User Comments:What kind of movie is this??



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Movie Review:

Director: Shabazz
Genre: Culture & Society Movie Type: Law & Crime, Biography
Themes: Drug Trade
Main Cast: Greg Carter, Big "E", Richard Carter, Jr.
Release Year: 2009

Plot
The story of powerful and charismatic drug dealer Richard Carter (aka Maserati Rick} comes to the screen as his son and his two brothers reflect on his stratospheric rise to power in this raw and intimate documentary. A product of Detroit's notorious East Side, Maserati Rick used his powerful connections and remarkable gift of gab to help found "Best Friends," the gang that would go on to become Detroit's most notorious drug cartel. Before long he was a hometown legend, his murderous exploits a perfect fit for the city's violent history. But Maserati Rick aspired to more in life, and after capturing the attention of Tommy "The Hit Man" Hearns, he was hired in as a bodyguard for the well-known boxer. A stint as a manager in the boxing game quickly followed, with Maserati Rick calling the shots for his brother Greg Carter while organizing large fight purses and supervising a multi-million dollar drug network. According to some accounts, Maserati Rick earned in excess of $20 million while controlling cocaine and heroin sales to the entire East Side. Later, after his control began to slip, the most powerful drug dealer in Detroit met a grim end in an inner-city hospital despite the fact that hospital police were guarding him at the time. As a result, Detroit laws regarding hospital procedure were given a complete overhaul, and Maserati Rick became a pivotal part of the city's rich history. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide...


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Director:Don E. FauntLeRoy

Writer:David C. Olson (writer)

Contact:View company contact information for Anacondas: Trail of Blood on IMDbPro.

Release Date:28 February 2009 (USA)

Genre:Action | Horror

Tagline:Bigger, Faster, Hungrier

Plot:A genetically created Anaconda, cut in half, regenerates itself into two aggressive giant snakes, due to the Blood Orchid. | add synopsis


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Movie Review:
Cast and Crew

Director : Dito Montiel

Producer : Kevin Misher

Screenwiter : Robert Munic,Dito Montiel

Starring : Channing Tatum,Terrence Howard,Zulay Henao,Michael Rivera,Flaco Navaja,Peter Tambakis,Luis Guzmán,Brian J. White,Roger Guenveur Smith...


There is something abnormally aggressive and conversational being deployed in the street-fight drama Fighting. It's the second film directed and co-written by New York native Dito Montiel and, like his nostalgic debut A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, it has a great love for NYC location shooting.


This film tells a very familiar tale of a talented fighter discovered by an opportunistic but ultimately good-hearted manager/trainer and shoved into a world of money, greed, and empty glory that he may not be prepared for. But Never Back Down, this is not. The moment Shawn (Channing Tatum) enters the screen, it's obvious he is not wise nor even very intelligent for that matter. He's lean and muscular but he doesn't have it over on anyone, and this is partially how he comes under the wing of Harvey Boarden (Terrence Howard), a street hustler who has connections to the world of private boxing. There's a hint of imperialism in the way the very white Shawn squares-off against four fighters, beginning with a brawny Eastern European type and ending with Evan (Brian J. White), a black, brutal fighter who Shawn's father taught and loved more than his son.


The script by Montiel and Robert Munic has a strange, intimate rhythm to its dialogue. Every conversation goes on just a bit longer than you think it will. At moments, the conversations are so clipped and unexpected that one might think Andrew Bujalski did a rewrite. In its structure, however, it's all business. The aimless, endless insinuations of Shawn's father and "an incident" are only overwhelmed in apathy by the sweet but feckless romance that blooms between Shawn and Zulay (Zulay Henao), a single mother and waitress who shares an apartment with her grandmother.


Fighting oddly feels like a film that is, itself, fighting to break free of its own contrivances and conventions. It never lags and it supplies plenty of action, but its trajectory and twists are clear from the outset. For all the everyday moments and sights of NYC that it picks up with warmth and familiarity, it drowns out its naturalness with a constant, egregious thumping of here-we-go rap anthems and throwback R&B. Any momentum it builds it diffuses with an overplayed note (Zulay's grandmother) or an awkward moment of needless melodrama. It can't find its allegiance, and its indecision bleeds into the viewer.


For whatever emphasis is given to Shawn's character and his story, Montiel's film is really about Harvey, and it's hard to take your eyes off of Howard's performance. Harvey's slow crawl to the knowledge that he's not cut out for New York City nor the fighting business is a powerful realization that is shortchanged here, but Howard's syrupy voice and suave presence makes Harvey a much more fascinating creation than the pride-and-glory two-step of Shawn's arc. Playing Fagin to a trio of hoods, Harvey is the sort of glorious, all-or-nothing loser that would be prime game for someone like Abel Ferrara or John Cassavetes. In Fighting, however, he is outmatched by the rigid mechanics of plot.


What did you think the movie was going to be about?

Reviewer: Chris Cabin..






















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Movie Review:
Reease Date: April 24, 2009

Genre: Suspense

Running Time: 108 minutes

MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13 for sexual material including some suggestive dialogue, some violence and thematic content.

Director: Steve Shill

Writer: David Loughery

Cast: Beyonce Knowles, Ali Larter, Idris Elba, Scout Taylor-Compton, Christine Lahti

In "Obsessed," Elba will play an asset manager who has a knockout wife (Knowles) and thriving career until a temp office worker (Larter) begins stalking him.
In "Obsessed," Elba will play an asset manager who has a knockout wife (Knowles) and thriving career until a temp office worker (Larter) begins stalking him..




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Movie Review:
Starring Lou Diamond Philips, A.C. Peterson, Simone-Elise Girard, Vlastra Vrana

Directed by Sheldon Wilson

I remember listening to an audio interview on another site a while back with a screenwriter who'd done work for Andrew Stevens' production company talking about how Stevens would always tell the guy to save his good material for any spec scripts he was trying to sell to the major studios because he was only in the business of "making sausage", as Stevens described it. Real sausage, the edible sausage, you can cook it up anyway you want: fry it, broil it, barbecue it, sauté it, chop it up and smother it in onions, serve it on a bun, wrap it in a pancake, pour ketchup or mustard on it, even get really crazy and put some whipped crème and chopped nuts on it to make a banana split out of it if you want. The sausage is the ingredient and you do with it what you will before eating it. The problem with the sausage mentality in regards to moviemaking - even b-moviemaking - is that cinematic sausage is what it is and it cannot be anything else. If the movie you're being served is nothing more than tasteless sausage then that is all it can ever be. Nothing you do can give it more flavor or serve it up in a manner more satisfactory to your palette.


That brings me to the latest Sci-Fi Channel original creature feature Carny - cinematic sausage offering nothing to tantalize your tastebuds.

A fairly competently made for what it is film yet every aspect of it aspires for nothing more than the bare minimum. Everything about it is routine. Everything about it feels too familiar. There is nary a spark of inspiration to it. Creatively lazy at every turn. Every character a stereotype; every plot point direct from the recycler. Disinterest sets in rapidly as an undeniable sense of "Who cares?" oozes from its pours. Movies like this are a time waster, yes, but a time waster denotes a waste of time and there is something seriously sad about producers that care so little that making a waste of time like this so long as they turn a profit is a career choice they're happy to shoot for.


The thing I've been able to appreciate about the Sci-Fi Channel's originals even as I maintain a love/hate relationship has been the schlock factor. Every so often I'd get one that was so ridiculously silly or over-the-top bad it achieved a higher degree of watchability than many of the better made yet infinitely pedestrian productions such as this. Every so often you'd get something with some inspired lunacy behind it. As goofy as a Mansquito may be or as unbelievably stupid as a Nature Unleashed: Tornado, as must-be-seen-to-be-believed bad as a Skeleton Man, at least they show some signs of a pulse even when the only thing keeping their heart pumping is the schlock value. I've long since given up hoping for genuinely good movies from Sci-Fi - they come along less frequently than Haley's Comet - so at the very least I cross my fingers hoping for something that delivers some campy fun without dipping too deeply into the well of campy self-actualization or the sea of banality.


Ah, yes, banality; a word I find myself writing with increasing frequency when discussing the recent crop of Sci-Fi Channel originals. Having been watching these films as long as I have it has become impossible not to notice that Sci-Fi and the companies that make movies for them just keep going down the same road over and over again, happily, it would appear. One of my favorite sayings is "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." This is in many ways the Sci-Fi Channel filmmaking philosophy. They don't call it insanity although they certainly keep doing the same things over and over again. Though that saying may not apply here since Sci-Fi doesn't appear to expect or care about achieving different results.


CarnyThis again brings me back to Carny. A murderous monster gets loose in a small community. Characters constantly stalk the woods in search of the monster stalking them. Local rednecks form a posse to hunt down the creature. A character with sinister intentions wants the creature alive and is willing to kill for it. A wooden leading man sets about to save the day. A person, preferably female, with some insider knowledge assists him. This is every Sci-Fi Channel monster movie you've ever seen regurgitated with only the variables slightly modified. The only thing three-dimensional about Carny were the dimensions of the computer animated monster and somehow even the texture of it managed to look more rubbery than the actual rubber puppet monster head used a few times.


The monster-of-the-week this time around is the Jersey Devil. Like a dragon crossbred with a pig, short and stout in a size, capable of running on all fours or flying with its bat-like wings in search of the blood it hungers for. With some minor tweaking to the design they could have also said it was a Chupacabra and nobody would know the difference. Could just as easily bill it as a pygmy gargoyle too. Neither its look nor its actions do anything to elevate it from the status of being just another generic movie monster that fails to stand out from the pack.


A man from New Jersey somehow captured a real live Jersey Devil and is looking to sell it to this small-time carny operator. If I caught such a thing I think my first call would be to CNN or National Geographic, some media body that could guarantee me maximum publicity and the potential to make millions. This dolt is clearly too stupid to live, a fact the carny realizes, which is why he murders the dolt and steals his monster.


The carnival is currently set up in some podunk town that I believe was said to be somewhere in Nebraska. Yes, Nebraska by way of Canada. This is one of those made-for-television movies that looks every bit like a made-for-television movie shot in Canada. Given the premise and visual aesthetic, Carny has the makings of a particularly lousy "X-Files" episode.


The carnival setting, even one as paltry as the carnival set here, should have provided many avenues of intrigue. Instead all roads lead to the woods where characters will skulk about for nearly half the movie.

I'm not fully up to speed on Jersey Devil lore but it would seem they have an aversion to popcorn; at the very least, flicking popcorn at a Jersey Devil sends it into a violent rage. A heckler not impressed by this sideshow oddity does just that, infuriating the beast enough to allow it to break free from its bondage.

A fire & brimstone preacher rants and raves like someone that never got the memo about the coming of the 20th century, let alone the 21st. The man apparently views sideshow carnivals as an abomination against God. To listen to him rant about sideshow carnivals you'd think a gay pride parade had come to town. After his son gets killed, the stereotypical stark-raving religious wacko becomes convinced the creature really is the devil incarnate, eventually proselytizing a small group of Billy Bob rednecks into a carnival burning lynch mob. If I make this character sound more amusing than he is, I apologize. He's as boring as every other character.


None are more boring than Lou Diamond Philips as the everyman local sheriff. I don't think I've ever seen a movie starring Lou Diamond Philips where he had less to do than this. Even when the script attempts to establish a potential romance between him and a carnival psychic woman they totally forget to include the romance part yet still expect us to care about their bond..



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Movie Review:

Hatching Pete - Summary

Pete Ivey really is a nice guy, but he's a nobody around high school. Most kids don't even know who he is. Pete wants to be noticed, but he just isn't known for anything.


When Pete reluctantly agrees to fill in for his best friend Cleatus as the school mascot (a chicken) during a basketball game, he turns out to be the star of the show. Game attendance skyrockets and the chicken captures the attention of a beautiful but aggressive cheerleader, Jamie. The problem is -- no one knows it's really Pete in the costume, and maybe that's the way Pete wants to keep it.


While Cleatus goes on taking the credit for the chicken's hilarious performances, Pete retains his place on the sidelines of high school life, wishing he could win the heart of the new girl in school, Angela. But she, of course, is enthralled with the chicken too. Pete wants to come out of his shell, but would everyone be so impressed with the chicken if they knew it was really him?


Hatching Pete - Guide Review for Parents

Choosing the chicken as the mascot is a clever play on the moral of this movie about a teen who "hatches" out of his shell. In fact, it is interesting to note that, according to Disney: Mascot Hall of Fame-inductee Ted Giannoulas, the original San Diego Chicken who is widely credited for heralding an era of outrageous sideline mascots, was a consultant and one of three chicken stuntmen on the set of Hatching Pete. It just goes to show that people can succeed in so many interesting and fun ways when they discover their own unique abilities and talents.


Being a comedy for tweens, there are a few mildly crude jokes in the movie, but nothing that is too overly offensive. There is also a lot of emphasis on boy-girl relationships. Pete wants to date Cleatus' sister, but she is a cheerleader and dating the jerky jock who is captain of the basketball team. Later, pete falls for another girl, and one of the cheerleaders falls for Cleatus, thinking he is still the funky chicken mascot. One reference to "making out" is made, and a couple of kisses, or almost kisses, are shown...





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Movie Review:
Rated: PG
Distributor: United International Pictures
Release Date: 2006-01-27

Starring: Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, Kelly Macdonald, Celia Imrie, Derek Jacobi, Patrick Barlow, Imelda Staunton, Thomas Sangster, Angela Landsbury

Directed by Kirk Jones
Produced by Tim Bevan, Lindsay Doran, Eric Fellner, Debra Hayward
Written by Emma Thompson


In Nanny McPhee Emma Thompson tries to break the forty-year stranglehold held on nanny related entertainment by Marry Poppins with her own take on the magical babysitter genre. Emma's entry owes a big debt to Julie Andrews, but differentiates itself just enough to avoid being labeled a blatant Nanny Poppins knockoff.


The seven Brown children are a horrible lot. They've just run off their 17th nanny by convincing her they ate the baby, and later tonight they'll tie up the cook and demolish her kitchen. Their ineffective single father (Colin Firth) is distraught. He's gone through every governess in town, there's no one left to watch his wild kids. To make matters worse, dear old Dad has one month to find a new bride, or Great Aunt Adelaide will cut their family out of her fortune, leaving them in the poorhouse and forcing pops to sell the kids into slave labor. I guess selling his lavish mansion and laying off a few of their servants just isn't an option.


That's when there's a knock at the door. It's Nanny McPhee (Emma Thompson), a horrible looking woman covered in warts and sporting one unfortunately placed snaggletooth. She offers her services to Mr. Brown as a kiddie caretaker, and since he's desperate, he accepts. Nanny McPhee goes to work setting things right around the Brown house. She pounds her knobby old cane on the floor and semi-magical things seem to happen. She has five lessons to teach the children Brown, and when she's done they'll probably have learned a more besides. "When you need me but don't want me, I will stay," she says, "but when you want me and don't need me, I must go."


The kids of course don't want her, and do their best to run her off. But their resentment is short lived, and soon replaced by fear. Nanny McPhee tortures the Brown children into behaving. Her teaching method involves things like forcing them to drop their baby brother in a pot of boiling water, or giving them the measles as punishment for their misdeeds. McPhee's interaction with the Brown children is really rather humdrum, and during one of her magical teaching moments I heard the little boy sitting behind me ask his mother, "when is this going to be over?" We've got another hour to go kid.


Weirdly enough, it is as a cartoony romance movie that McPhee comes closest to finding its footing. The family's scullery maid Evangeline (Kelly Macdonald) is desperately in love with Mr. Brown, though because of her station she keeps those feelings to herself. Mr. Brown for his part may have feelings for her, but if he does that pesky class system is probably in the way again. Kelly Macdonald, whom you may remember as Peter Pan in Finding Neverland, does wonderful work as Evangeline. To me she's the real heart of this film, and the only character anyone in the audience is likely to be particularly interested in. Mr. Brown's awkward quest for a bride and Evangeline's quietly proper longing keep McPhee's heart beating even when some of the Nanny's shtick is dead on arrival.



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Movie Review:

Director : Adam Weissman

Release Date : 16 September 2008

Genre : Adventure

Cast : Gil Bellows, Maxim Roy, Glenda Braganza, Mark Camacho, Bruce Dinsmore, Carlo Mestroni, Neil Napier, Judd Nelson, Donny Quinn, Isabella Rossellini, David Schaap, Jesse Todd..